The manic poet



    "C  A  L  M,      P  L  E  A  S  E !"


Going barmy!

'Watched "Dad's Army"

'Need a Whisky soon "to calm mi!"

People dying: "Stay at Home!"

Not much chance of trip to Rome?


Social distance

"Not this instance?"

Meeting with a fair resistance...

"I will park just where I like..

Even if I'm on my bike!"


Weeds are quaking

Worms awaking

Can you guess, my back is aching?

Dandelions... Go Away!

On this sunny Cleveleys' day!



Dog is weeing

Cars from virus.. they are fleeing  (Speed merchants)

Opposite, guy grows a "car"

For nine years, it's not gone far!  (Not moved!)


Postie passing

Me... Just "grassing"

With my digger, weeds amassing!

Cat, I see, is chasing mouse

Just by neighbour's dirty house!


Magpies chatter

'Doesn't matter!

As for me, a tired Mat Hatter!

Mowing lawns disturbs the peace

Time for gulls their cries to cease!  (No chance!)


Sun is shining

Pinkie?.. wine-ing?

Soon it's time for "Pizza Dining"

'Weigh myself: "Says eighty K'"

Easter Egg perhaps today?


Going Crazy

Never lazy!!

Blame the Whisky, mind is hazy

Down-dog time upon the floor   (Yoga)

Calms my brain and soon it's sore!  11/04/2020 xxxx



G U T E N    T A G,    B E R L I N !


Long way from Kissonerga, German Friends

A Berlin flat instead of Cyprus heat

Dear Rufus, kisses to Dear Eisbaer sends

He hopes one day his dearest pals to meet!

I miss those walks from Tala Square downhill

The warmest welcome: "Glass of Whisky, please!"

My eyes are moist, my heart with sadness fill'

An extra Malt, to cure my aching knees?  (An excuse?)

We try and solve the problems of the world

Whilst Merkel, May such barriers install  (Johnson now!)

Togther smiling, Euro Flag unfurled

Such happy walks to "Spring of Life" recall

Salute our German Friends, long may they reign!

Dear Cyprus' loss is only Berlin's gain.. Updated from 2012 xxxx


For Dear Karin and Heinz xxxx  02/04/2020.









K  E  E  P      I  T      G  O  I  N  G  !


I think of Uncle Bob, he guitar plays

An antidote to virus?... music wins

A little Boogie Woogie, head that sways

An Elton song as well, and for my sins?

The days are long, 'escaping for a walk

Of course we keep our distance, doggie barks

My neighbour, plumber Si', a friendly talk

It's not the time for hundred "Facebook larks"!

Our Easter plans?.. exchange the lounge for 'loo?

We're watching Jerry Vine, advice for all?

'Would rather listen to a pigeon coo? (You bet!)

We all are trapped, I view our bedroom wall!

A friend goes past, with Toby on his lead

An old guy cries: "We are a doughty breed!"  01/04/2020.


I am told: "We won the War, we'll beat this silly virus"..Help!


H A P P Y D A Y S !

"T  H  E      S  P  R  I  N  G      O  F      L  I  F  E"


"Spring of Life"...we miss you so!

Nestled in the countryside

Once a month we used to go

Real emotion 'cannot hide!


Chris and Tina standing there

Leon serving, raging thirst

Food prepared with love and care

My poor heart could almost burst!


Lounza with an egg and chips

Ian really starts to beam  (The Thespian!)

Carlsberg Beer to pass his lips

All a part of "Cyprus Dream"


Lots of walkers, friendly "noise"

Talking 'bout the latest climb

Many happy "girls and boys"

Easy for my day to rhyme!


Thursday walkers have arrived

Grant and Hil' with Vicky sit  (106 soon!)

Memories are soon revived

'Say my walk was "Latest Hit"


Mark and Donald: "footy fans"

'Forest and the "Brummies" shine?

So relaxing, bottles, cans

Situation: "So Divine!"


Stomachs soon start to revive

My Halloumi, 'salivate!

Brandy, Whisky, who will drive?

Yummy fare, it is our fate"  (Dreadful!)


Cake arriving, can we cope?

Tina baking.. Number One?

For a second slice we hope

Happy walkers in the sun!


Time to leave, we'll soon be back

Planning for another walk

Rufus sleeping in my "sack"

Singing "Beach Boys", happy talk!


'Give taverna, final wave

Blow to Tina parting kiss

Days like this, I treasure, save

This the place I'll always miss!


"Spring of Life", we love you so

Memories to make me smile

'Know quite soon we''l have to go  (UK)

This we'll find...on "Golden Mile"  Updated 30/03/2020 xx


L O C A L "F U N".

V  I  R  U  S      B  L  U  E  S  !


Singing in the Rain!  (On the radio)

Wash away all pain...

All your worries flushed away?

Virus down the drain!


"Old guys" in the queue

Problems?... really few

"Won the War", no virus fear

"Got our "Empire" too!"


"Stay behind the line"

'Else you'll get a fine

Airports, lines are not obeyed! (Luggage caroussel)

Have a glass of wine!  (Duty free?)


Dog, not on its lead

'Guess what?.. It's just peed!

Lovely "trails" beneath my feet

"Brain cells, 'what you need!"


Beer in coffee cup

"Man" will swig, not sup  (Anchorshome man)

Eyes are glazed, he's had enough

Doggie gives a "Wup"  (Wuff?)


Sun begins to shine

'Leaving... "drinking swine"

Trips and then I start to laugh

P'rhaps he needs some wine?


Painting is the cure

'Love it more and more

Fingers covered, 'get the "Turps"

Glossing... spirits soar!  (Really?)


Singing in the sun

'Love that "currant bun"

Walking, Cyprus on my mind

There, it's much more fun!    28/03/2020


B L E S S    T H E    N. H. S. !


Clapping in harmony


Music is "calming mi"  (Spelling?)

Pi-an-o play!


Blackbird is twittering

Under a bush

No one is littering  (Cheer!)

No need to rush!


Eight pm sounding here

Ev'ryone out

Whisky and then a beer?

Sleep then, no doubt!


Young man is jogging past

Distance he keeps

'Wonder how long 'will last?

Pussy cats leaps!


Time ticking slowly now

Anyone bored?

Try to stay sane somehow?

I play a chord


"Moonlight" so soothing seems  (Beethoven)

Then playing Brahms

"Olwen" is in my dreams

Wife in my arms


Whole World is thinking too

"All Things Must Pass"

Pigeon can only coo

Pope saying mass!


Dancing in harmony

'Mounderness Way  (Cleveleys)

Traffic not calming mi"

In House I stay!   26/03/2020 xxxx


V  I  R  U  S    T  I  M  E  !


Dinosaur has "giant fart"

Is this then a "Work of Art"?

No, it's just a "Blast from't Past"

Daddy jokes forever last!


Doggie with a mobile phone

'Love to hear that "canine tone"

Going shopping, it's germ free

Has a wee-wee on a tree!  (What else?)


Virus, brain cells still intact?

With the Devil... evil pact

Only gets those Brexit Twits

Yet protects all garden tits! (Three Cheers!)


Lot of humour, hoarding tins

Toilet rolls all for our sins

Queueing for at least an hour

Feel that supermarket power!


No, it's not Corona Beer!

Stranded with your partner "dear"

Word divorce might soon appear

Husband diving off the pier!  (It is Blackpool)


"Social distancing" desired

Lots of patience is required

Back door to the local pub?

Champers in the Tory Club?


Going for a daily walk

Someone coming, 'take left fork

Do we smile or merely scowl?

See police car on the prowl!


Highlight, seeing Boris spout?

In control, of that no doubt!

Couple fighting, parking space

Virus time is really ace!  Help!..26/03/2020.. Strange times xx








T H E L E T R A    P E A C E


Not one "smart"-phone here is heard

Only 'sound of passing bird

Sress-free zone is what I crave

Silence for Poor Manic Dave!  (David)


Not one car, here people walk

In taverna: lots of talk  (Later)

'Cannot find flat-screen TV

Only 'buzzing of a bee!


Not so many houses here

'Guess no need for Leon Beer?

Sofas?...only in a house  (Not dumped!)

Neighbour... quiet as a mouse


From the church, a gentle stroll

Peaceful time, our only goal

Mem'ries of a nasty fall (I was lucky!)

Foot slipped from a broken wall!


Radio 'hear, with bat on ball

Straight from Cricket's Hallowed "Hall"  (Test match)

Owner, glad for Cyprus peace

From all stress... a true release!


'Walk along, a jay flies past

Will this calm forever last?

Whip-snake slithers down a hole

Fine horse with a tiny foal


Haven from that "Brexit Isle"

Here... much easier to smile!

Path descends, chameleon waits

'Thinking of Dear Georgie Bates!


Leaving, with a heavy heart

Village played a special part

'Love(d) this life of Outdoor Fun

Underneath the Cyprus sun.... Amen to that! xxxx

Updated: 24/03/2020.


"G I V E    A    D O G    A    P H O N E !"


Today 'was watching tele'

I launched a noisy groan

When dogs are out, quite lonely

They need?.... a mobile phone!


An owner too is lonely

But.. that won't be for long..

Just dial dear doggie's mobile

And sing a canine song! ("How much is that doggie...!")


"Hello!", 'hear heavy panting

Just teach your dog to talk

Instead of barks and yapping

Dog's speaking on his walk!


"Wuff! Wuff!..I need a wee-wee"

My leg about to cock

"No, not on my new Jaguar

You'll end up in the dock!"


Great wheeze, dear doggie's texting

He has a skilful paw

The phone becomes essential

"It's not against the law!"


'See Fido on is "walkies"

I can't believe my eyes

He's talking to his owner

In contact: Very wise!


The owner, also clever

He rings his doggie friend

"Just fetch a loaf and sweeties

And coffee, please "Gold Blend"!


Fido, he too is clever

He wants Lulu to date

And dials her on his mobile

He barks: "Wuff, don't be late!"


Dog looks so very charming

His phone around his neck

I wonder who is paying?

"Send, 02, please, a cheque!"


No longer doubts at Christmas  (Or Easter!)

Fed up with chocs and bone?

Attach it to dog's collar...

And give your dog... A PHONE! xxxx


Updated 22/03/2020. xx




S  T  O  C  K  -  P  I  L  I  N  G !


Tired of hearing: "I'm stock-piling"?

All of this I am reviling

As for me?.. Just, "Famous Grouse"...

Keeps all germs out of the house!


Toilet rolls and sanitizing

Not for me so appetising?

'Down another Whisky, two...

Keeps away all bugs and flu'!


Bispham Road, two blokes are shouting (Cleveleys)

"That's my place!", there is no doubting

"Stay at home and have a drink

You're asleep before you blink!"


Jigsaws buying, cards and gambling

To the cupboard I am ambling

'Had a walk, I need a "pep"

Watch a film with Johnny Depp? (Really?)


Supermarket shelves, no coffee

"Buy some sweets and get some toffee!"

Not for me, I watch my waist

"Grouse" I drink at even pace!


"Got no meat, I'm veggies eating

"Lettuce, please!", all fat defeating?

Shelves are full of "Grants" and Bells"

"Wonderful", man wife he tells!


Cross the road, as bread I'm seeking

In the window I am peeking

Only got some croissant, Help!

"Foreign muck!", a Brexit Yelp!


Panic-buying?.. only Whisky

Not so sure 'it makes me frisky?

After two I start to snore

I forget "stock-piling bore"!  For Graham Ormiston.. "Yiamas"

20/03/2020. xxxx








T  H  E    "G  R  O  U  S  E"    D  O  E  S    I  T  !


Fine art of conversation... flown away!

Three adults text, I cannot hear a word

Their plates of meat arrive... "Oh Happy Day!"

Yet still man clutches 'phone, it's so absurd!

A child, his head is swaying, head-phones on

His mother views her tablet, silence reigns

Poor child, he hums a "New Direction" song

Outside, the sunshine gone, the poor sky rains!

Foul meat is scoffed: "I don't eat rabbit food!"

"Please pass the greens, I'll eat them with my fish!"

"Get on y'er bike!", so loud, to spoil my mood

Next: Spotted Dick arrives, guy's fav'rite dish

Much later, sipping glass of "Famous Grouse!

Such peace, NO phones, relaxing in our house!  19/03/2020 PEACE xx









   R  E  A  L      M  A  D  N  E  S  S      (Sonnet)


Foul cider-drinker really "takes the mick"

He's leaving empty cans and.. twice a day!

Perhaps he is a Michael or a Dick?

I hope to catch him in our alley-way

A virgin patch of grass, it's early morn'

Fine weekend: scratch-cards, Lotto tickets too

A world of roses always has one thorn!

He's left me bags of poo, the air turns blue!

I'm paranoid, Corona is to blame!  (Some virus!)

"Just get a life, there's nothing you can do!"

Large Whisky downed, "Ignore this litter game!"

Before I know it....Off to Pafos 'flew!

Queen's Bay Hotel, we have an ocean view

At last.. our problems really are just few!  (Only Pinkie!") 17/03/2020


"W  A  S      I  S  T      L  O  S  ?"


What's the matter, North and South?

Food keeps dropping in my mouth

'Pass the fridge, some cheese drops in

Whisky too, but NEVER Gin!


Making breakfast, nuts and fruit

Fingers think they're really cute....

Pinch a lonely, tasty grape

Stomach stays a healthy shape!!


Chopping carrots, lots drop in

Wasting food?... An awful sin!

Celery and currants too

Mushrooms, destined for a stew!


Mystery?... A Chocolate Thief?

Strawberries too, beyond belief!

Ginger biscuits all have gone

Singing yummy "Foodie Song"


Bag of nuts is looking thin

P'rhaps they've fallen in the bin? (Likely?)

Fish and chips have disappeared

"Foodie Thief", one says, is feared!


Whisky bottle emptied too

Leon gone... "Give us a clue!"

Sherlock Holmes is on the case

Searching for a "greedy face"!


Maybe... 'Blame those Cyprus cats?

Sleeping on their beds and mats

'Guess they really need the food?

'Puts them in a purring mood!


I am blaming... local mice

Eating lots of sugar, spice

Ants, I think, are suspects too

Nasty, greedy "insect crew"!


'Say: "Whatever!", grinning guy

Food not wanted, 'heave a sigh

Have another "Chocky Ice"

Telling off those naughty mice!  An escape from the Corona virus xx

15/03/2020 xx





Foul "Corona"

Be a loner

As for me : "A crass Remoaner"!

Never mind, kill off the old

"Torygraph", this "story" told! (Jeremy Warner, journalist)


Cough and sneezer

I'm a wheezer

BJ is an "awful teaser"?

Wash your hands and no more hugs

'Do not want "Corona Bugs"!


Someone's "beering"

Hear his Cheering

Only headaches.. man is fearing!

"Bought a six-pack, Coron' Beer!..

Now I'm grinning ear-to-ear!



For our "nation"

Not much time for celebration?

Do not worry, Boris wins

"We are are punished for our "sins"!


Devils' watching

Evil toxin

My protection: Lots of "Scotching"!

Lining up my "Famous Grouse"

Not one virus in our house!


Ban Corona

"Stay a loner"

Eyes are closing, I'm no moaner

Watching rugby, glass in hand

Welcome to "My Whisky-Land" xx  Friday 13th of March xx


C Y P R U S    I S    T H E    C U R E!


Moosey, Hetty... not too happy!

"Moosey's gonna need a nappy!"

Careless "poet" spilled a drink

Rufus asking:  "What d'yer think?"


Early morning, drinks are ready

Croak from frog, by name of Freddie

Hetty has a "dampish rear"

Baloo grinning ear-to-ear!


Brain and limbs not "synchronising"

"He's a poet, not surprising?"

Mopping up, the carpet's wet

Wonder if we need a vet?


"Need some heat, M's rear is soaking!"

Rufus laughing: "We're not joking!"

"Cannot have a soaking moose!"

Quick report to "Women Loose"?


'Need some sunshine, "Coral Bay-ing"

"And what's more, that poet's paying!"

"Pinkie, get the Leons out!"...

Lubricate our throats no doubt?


Peaceful scene, they're "Vardas-Beach-ing"

Hetty for a Leon reaching

Brandy Sour and 'bottle White  (For Pinkie?)

Drinking late into the night!


Silence, broken by some snoring

Dampness gone, the spirits soaring

Dawn is breaking, waking up..

Coffee from a plastic cup!  (I bet)


Back in Blighty, skies are raining

"Being here, it is "no-braining"!

Booking a November stay

Plan another Cyprus Day! xx 11/03/2020  xx















S L E E P    O N    S A F E L Y,    T O N Y    B E N N!


What y'er thinking, Tony Benn?

Always was the best of men

Viewing Britain in a mess

From the heavens..,sighs, 'confess!


Looking at a Cyprus grove

Not one sight of Michael Gove! (Cheer!)

Birds are tweeting, close my eyes

'Love those happy, peaceful skies!


Just forget those warring gulls

Brexit at my heart's strings pulls

And... avoid the litter louts

Plus those dreadful "no-deal doubts"!


Peering through a "Euro-Fog"

Smiling awful Reecy-Mogg!

Bo-Jo, with the smuggest smile

Kilometers, never mile'!


'Used to write to Tone B'

Comments always set me free (He replied)

Sailing on a swaying boat..

Brings a lump to poet's throat!


Not a European he!

High atop the "left-wing tree"

'Hated all unneeded strife

Happy always with his wife  (Dear Caroline)


Looking down on Anchorsholme

As remaining hairs I comb!

'Guess you're hearing mobile phone?

"Is that guy an O2 clone?"


Any better Pafos beach?

Leon Beer is within reach

"All inclusive, our hotel!"

'Gives tavernas living Hell!


Sleep on safely, Tony Benn

'Join you one day, don't know when!

Far from Brexit World of Strife

Arm-in-arm with special wife!  Amen  10/03/2020 xx



C  O  M  F  O  R  T  -  Z  O  N  E - I  N  G!

(St. Thomas' Church)


Comfort Zone-ing

No one moaning

Happy song I am "intone-ing"

Smiling faces, form a queue

'Hope this morning... Problems few?


"Please, no smoking!"

"I'm not joking"

Healthy attitudes "evoking"!

Time for breakfast, Weetabix

Coffee as your morning "fix"


Gwen is leading

Poor's she's feeding

Lots of help, of course, she's needing

Setting out the tables, chairs

'Got some fruit: bananas, pears


Time for meeting

John us greeting

Poverty, we hope, we're beating

Janet's leaving, say a prayer

Glossop, soon she'll be out there!


Folk arriving

Cold surviving

Spirits here we are reviving!

Get your parcels, warmer clothes

Heat provide from head to toes!


Colleagues caring

Stories sharing

Sleeping rough is really "daring"!

Sofa-surfing, coldest street

Fighting hard all this to beat!


Kind, advising

Plans devising

Life is hard.... it's not surprising

Just encourage, love and peace

From the stress of life release!


Comfort Zone-ing

Gone all groaning

Helping skills we all are honing!

Glad to be a volunteer

Smiles, we hope, efface all tear'!   08/03/2020  xxxx