The manic poet






Cleveleys leaving, coast we're walking

Everyone 'bout Star Wars talking  (Not ourselves!)

Lots of vans to guard the place....

Wipes the smile from walkers' face?


Soon the park, a "Brew" we're buying

See a queue, just hear our sighing!

We soon hear American voice

Biden-pal, so let's REJOICE!


Joshua from San Francisco

Life our here perhaps a bit slow?

No, he loves this "Lanky Coast"

English life just is the most!


Little son, he's always smiling

All of this I'm quickly filing

Wolf his name, a Mozart fan

"Play piano when you can!"


Wife is pregnant, States and England

All together, just as one land!

Grateful that Foul Trump has gone

Singing soon Liberty song  (Ding,Dong!)


"Sleepy Joe" we're soon discussing

Not the guy for "Tweeting-Fussing"

Climate change acknowledged too

Donald Trump.. No bloody clue!


Time to go, Dear Josh we're thanking

We admit he's so high-ranking!

Special thoughts for super guy

Write his name high in the sky!  07/05/2021 xxxx




M  E  R  R  Y    S  H  O  P  P  I  N  G !


"Feed the World", it's Christms Time

All Dear Shoppers talk in rhyme!  (Really?)

Sexy knickers, silly hat

Buy some mittens for your cat!


M. and S. is really ace

Smiles and laughter on each face

"Get those cards out!", 'need a loan

All "good" husbands never moan!!  (Really?)


Rows of dresses, coloured tops

Giant frog that really hops!

Passing "haystack", hair-style day?

Christmas with Theresa May? (Or Boris????)


Stylish shoes for local man

Matching ear-rings if he can?

Flashing baubles, tinsel, lights

Wear a pair of "fetching" tights?


Christmas "music", group called Wham

Plastic baby in a pram!

Twelve mince pies and Christmas pudd'

Woolly whiskers, Santa's hood!


Fuller figure?.. "Wear a sack!"

Snazzy Y-fronts, Uncle Jack?

Soap-on-rope for Aunty Jean

Stunning movie... Mister Bean?


All the bustle, say a prayer

Wear a suit like Yogi Bear?

Stick some holly up your nose

Santa hat... a sexy pose?


Tills are ringing, credit card

Staying patient... Really hard?

Social distance, shouting "Help!"

Little doggie starts to yelp!


"Smart" phones ringing, ding-a-ling

Christmas Time with "Crosbie Bing"

Babies screeching, children fight

Time for playing "Silent Night"?


'Glad we're leaving, heave a sigh

See another suff'ring guy!

'Need a Whisky and some food...

Flight to Pafos lifts my mood!   Fingers crossed!  29/11/2020 xx


C H R I S T M A S    I S    C O M I N G !


Poo-bags hanging from a tree

Bottles shining, full of wee!  (He! He!)

Blue tit tweeting, smiles return

Brownie Points I've got to earn!


Cheers, I pick a scratch-card up

Rather sip from Leon "Cup"?

Gosh, 'collected seven masks

"Why d'ya do it?", lady asks!


Coffee cups are on the road

Costa Coffee in my "load"

Lucozade on broken pram

Sandwich of discarded ham!


"Picking" done, arriving home

Any better, Pafos, Rome?

Lots of plastic in the sea

Time for cup of calming tea!


Seated on Dear Venus Beach

Gustoso's is within reach  (Pafos)

Tweedie's p'rhaps on Christmas Day? (Our favourite!)

'Stead of freezing Morecambe Bay?


Walking straight to Droushia Heights

Christmas, wearing sexy tights? (Never?)

'Guess we're wanting lots of fun

Underneath the Cyprus sun?


Happy Wanderers... 'pleased to see?

Jo' and Rod' there.. He! He! He!

"Spring of Life", Halloumi "snack"

Rufus, smiling in my "sack"!


Change is really dearest wish

Wine and tasty veggie dish

Fingers crossed, we'll see you soon

Pafos stay will be a boon!  Count down to December! 27/11/2020 xx


A    B O O Z Y    S A N T A !


Santa's in Ktima

'Has "pre-presents-beer"

Cousin lives in Lima

'Has a Christmas deer!


Seated at a table

Noshing at his fish

"Presents?... If I'm able!"

'Has a Christmas wish......


'Like to be retired

In Kamares place  (Paradise village!)

Elves he soon has hired

"No more kids' that's ace!"  (Naughty?)


"Christmas Time for feasting

Lots of Xmas Cheer

"Not for "west-and-easting"

Sips his Leon Beer!


Eating in La-ona

'Has his fav'rite seat

'Always been a moaner?

'Soaks his eating feet! (In Brandy?)


Christmas Day, no hassle

Drinks on Tala Square  (Coffees?)

Mario's, his castle  (And Pinkie's?)

With Dear Rufus Bear!


Reindeer now are working

Elves have BM'-Sleigh  (For Heinz?)

S'... all work is shirking

Rests on Christmas Day!!


"Hallelui'a" singing

Santa... Happy Chap!

Church bells PEACE are ringing

S' has beer on tap!

(And, he'll need a nap! zzzzzz)  25/11/2020 xx




C  Y  P  R  U  S    W  A  L  K  I  N  G


Dear Cyprus walkers, looking fit and trim

We send you "Merry Christmas" Cleveleys-way

Our climate at the moment... rather grim

We need our Winter woollies ev'ry day!

I bet you're all ascending local hills?

With not a thought for hips and aching knees

Another glass of Keo tummies fills

A Cognac too for me 'gainst English freeze!

Dear Sharon: "Keep those walkers well in check!"

For Enid, park your bike by table's edge

From Yorkshireman, you'll miss that "Bloody Eck"?

No meat at Christmas, nut-roast, lots of veg'!

A glass of Famous Grouse I proudly raise

Beware, we'll visit you, December days!   Amen.. 23/11/2020 xx


A  W  F  U  L    P  R  E  S  E  N  T  S  !


Awful Christmas presents

"Y-Fronts".. Not again!"

"Bloody naughty peasants!" (Grateful?)

Never sunshine, rain!


Rhino fans not happy? (Leeds)

'Got a "Bullish" mug  (Bradford)

Orville with his nappy

"Why a Toby Jug?"


Tie with Santa on it

Clockwork Rudolf Deer

"Really makes me vomit!"

"Got some lifeless beer!"  (Corona?)


Rudolf's nose now flashing

Then he starts to dance

In green sliipers.... Smashing?

Our poor lives enhance?  (Really?)


Tattoo says: "Love Jenny"

Christmas, Jenny leaves

Problems now are many

Michael only grieves! 


Des O'Connor singing  (R.I.P., sir!)

CD, yes, to thrill!

Head will soon be ringing

"Glad I've got the bill!"  (Receipt for return?)


Neighbour's got a mower...

'Hasn't got a lawn!  (Ha! Ha!)

Brand-new red gym-rower

"Use from dusk to dawn!" (Advert')


DVD: "Loose Women"

Barbie Doll, "No thanks!"

Skimpy shorts for swimming? (Irish Sea?)

Photo of Tom Hanks (Better?)


'Sent a new hair-dryer..

Man's bald as a coot! (Cyprus friend?)

Golden deep-fat fryer

Tone-deaf.... 'Get a flute!


Perfume, awful, stinking

'Good to kill the weeds?

"Do they like me?, 'thinking!

'Bought the budgie seeds! (Died last month!)


Crappy Cy' tea-towel  (Never Cyprus?)

And some "Cy Delight" (Not Turkish?)

Largest garden trowel

'Jamas, far too tight!" (zzzzz!)


Peter though, is happy  (Mr. L')

Crate of Leon Beer

"Orville, keep your nappy!"

'Beam from ear-to-ear!


Once that Christmas's... over

Empty Keo kegs

Shops are soon in clover

"Yippee, Easter eggs!"   Enjoy!  21/11/2020 xxx







          A   K E O - C A R T  ?


I flew off on the back of Postman Pat

Deliv'ring letters, parcels, far and wide

With Rufus, B.T., black and white our cat

To Sea Caves, "beach"... We came in with the tide!

'Got title-deeds for ev'ry "Worthy Brit"

And Highway Code for all those "roady-hogs"! (Never?)

Some seat-belt signs, with Cypriots a hit? (I don't think so!)

From Lancashire, I'm wearing Christmas clogs!

Poor B.T. 'parched, he's reaching for a beer

A Leon crate is thrown to walking guys

"NOT in the handbook!", trouble soon I fear

"Just water, please!", I hear poor walkers sigh!

A Keo-cart "arrived" for walking days

For Postman Pat, we're hearing LOUD HOORAYS! 18/11/2020 xxxx



A N   E A R L Y   C H R I S T M A S


Christmas in November

"Hark The Heralds" sing

Presents.. please remember

'Love that "Festive Thing"!


Barmy are the shoppers

Chasing "Bargain Toys"

Presents all are "whoppers"

Happy girls and boys!


Thousands they are spending

Credit cards are hot

Really costly lending

Lots of debt soon "got"!


'Bought a dancing Santa

An electric deer  (Rudolf?)

And a crate of Fanta  (Not Corona?)

Lots of Keo Beer! (Pafos)


Homeless guy NOT buying

Huddled in a sheet

Christmas thoughts?... he's crying....

Just got frozen feet!


Christmas pies are ready

"Six pack, get two free!"

And a Santa Teddy

High atop a Tree!


Three weeks till December

Freezers full of meat! (Not us!)

Aunty Jean remember....

Slippers for her feet


Window.. full of fairies

Holly, mistletoe

Cream from local dairies

Mince pies are loved so!


As for social distance

Covid rife, Beware!

Lots of foul resistance

Shake hands, if you dare!


What's the special meaning?

'Got the "God of Toys"

No religious "leaning"

For those girls and boys?


Christmas... Far too early?

Booking Summer Hols' (Really?)

"What to buy for Shirley?"

Pretty Easter Dolls?   Help!  16/11/2020







T   O      P   A   F   O   S  !


Rain! Rain! Heavy Rain!

Rather be in sunny Spain?

On the beach with Aat Karel....  (2021?)

And his lovely wife as well!


Poo! Poo! Doggie Poo!

Time to have a Canine Loo?

Bags are swinging from the trees

In the bottle?... sundry wees!


Packs! Packs! Faggy Packs!

Glass and.. No.. discarded tacks!

"Scratch-Card Friday", dirty masks

"Where's the bin?", this, no one asks!


Fire! Fire! Fire-works!

Rockets, launched by local berks?

'Found a rocket on the road

Following the Highway Code?


Sun! Sun! Lots of fun!

Here, 'don't see the "currant bun"!

Catch a plane to Pafos Town....

Soon dispels my Covid frown?


Vote! Vote! Biden Vote!

Escape from that "Trumpan Goat"!

Paris Treaty, Medicare

Calm is now the US air!


Beer! Beer! Leon Beer!

Soon I'm grinning ear-to-ear!

Dreaming of A Tweedies's meal

So elated now I feel!


Cheer! Cheer! Christmas Cheer!

Pafos soon, of that no fear!

Pete and Pinkie raise a glass

To defeated Trumpan Ass!   09/11/2020  xxxx





T H E    N A U G H T Y    F A I R Y



I'm 'Fairy on The Christmas Tree

Squirming, writhing, I need a wee!

Restricting is this frilly dress

When suddenly, I'm in a mess!


I feel a trickle on my thigh

No time to scream and wonder why....

Old Fuzzy Whiskers starts to moan

His beard is soaked, he's on the phone....


To Lapland, where all toys are made

Adjusting trusty hearing-aid   (Pardon?)

Oh, Blast, Rudolph's red nose is damp

Great panic spreading in the "camp"!


What can I do, short-circuit lights?

Dear Tinkerbell with Barbie fights

Poor children, standing in the queue

Look at the tree and, wonder who...


Has caused commotion, fighting toys

'Would never do for girls and boys!...

To have the Fairy Grotto spoiled

The system here is so "well-oiled"


Then Peter Pan to 'rescue came

This little man of world-wide fame

He snatched Old Fuzzy's whiskers off

And proffered them, yes, with a cough!  (A gent'?)


My knickers "plugged", the smile returned

P.P., his Brownie Points has earned

The tree now dry, "normalitee"

Is glowing 'round the Christmas Tree!


And Santa Claus.. more babies 'kiss

The one with runny nose he miss'!

I yawn again and view the clock..

"Not even bloody twelve o'clock!"


'Resign and steering Star Wars' plane

This boring job drives all insane!

I land on sunny Pafos beach

With all "dear" children out of reach!


A Status red, safe in my hand  (Wine!)

A palm tree swaying, sunshine and.....

Dear Pafos suits my nature see...

And all because of fateful WEE!  November 2020, updated from 2011 xx


Kalimera, Pafos! xxxx



(How many times have I heard this from our Nationalists?)


Time for us to emigrate?

Rising cases, it's our fate?

Covid Danger, "track-and-trace"

This procedes at "snaily pace"!


Land of "oven-ready-deals?"

"Stand alone!".. and this appeals?

Cleveleys... dodging dashing folk

Covid Danger.... just a joke?


'Give my number, is it right?

Group of three, quite out of sight!

'Least the food is yummy here  (The Venue, Cleveleys)

And the smashing foreign "beer"!  (Lager!)


'Cross the park, bikes whizzing past

"Piss off, Mister!".. Fine "Lambast"!

Quiet crossing.. nearby field

Thoughts to distant Cyprus yield!


Jumbo's with that Christmas Tree

Pafos Lighthouse sets us free

Walking, Droushia, no one there

Lots of time to "walk and stare"


Meeting friends, 'wear Santa hat

'Guess I really look a prat?

Speaking, though across the street

Quarantine is what we meet


Eating outside Laona place

Food out here is really ace

Bernard with his Marguerite

In Ktima.. What a treat!  (Pafos)


Whisky glass I proudly raise

Scotland too I roundly praise

'Glad to leave our stranglehold

Cyprus, many stories told...

Hope to see you all quite soon

Underneath a Pafos moon!  29/10/2020   xxxx






T A K E    Y O U R    P I C K !


"Barton Grange" ,no need for Jumbo's! (Pafos)

Shopping life is just for dumbos?

'Love the Christmas atmosphere

In October, 'hear me Cheer?  (Really?)


Christmas music, hearts are racing

Bargains many shoppers chasing

Buy yourself a giant ape

As for me?.. a Batman cape!


'Don't have Jumbo's elevator

Neither Wagamama's waiter

Cafe: lots of tasty treats

Mince pies hunger soon defeats!


Greeted by a giant panda

"Lots to see, come have a gander!"

Place is full of coloured masks

Cyprus?.. in the sunshine basks!


Many trees of varied sizes

Couple here from far Devizes!

Garden full of "Shady Plants"

Shrubs for uncles and for aunts!


We are told: "Christmas.. Remember!"

Not just now, let's try December

"Hark The Herald Angels Sing"

BJ is our Northern King!  (Of course?)


Owls and robins all inspecting

First my hands I'm disinfecting

Buddha watching, wanting peace

From the Covid stress release!


'Take your pick, I'm Jumbo's choosing

Fine taverna, lots of boozing?

Barton Grange: a cracking place

Both, we think, are really ace!  23/10/2020 xxxx