The manic poet



L I T T E R    H E R E   T O O ??


Anchorsholme, the sun is shining

For a tiny Whisky pining?

'Bit too early, seven o'clock?

Litter-foulers in the dock!


Angry soon, a "Scratch-card Rally"?

Twenty-four my daily tally

Bottles smashed, 'hate broken glass

Dropped by local drunken ass?


One-Stop calling, neighbour chatting

England 'gainst West Indies batting

Falklands' war and morning fun

I have NEVER owned a gun!


Singing birds, my spirits cheering

Lots of folk prefer just "beer-ing"

Lager louts, a trail of cans

Do NOT need a set of pans!!


Cheerful chatting, doggie stroking

"Happy days!", I bet you're joking?

Lorry whizzes quickly past

Amazon; a heavenly "cast"?


Nearing home, more birds are chirping

Drunken guy, I hear him burping

On his face a wicked stare

'Love his smashing coloured hair!


Cheering up, no missiles falling

Ukraine scenes are so appalling!

Ready for my coffee fix

First removing slate and bricks!


Anchorsholme, with Pafos calling

Litter there, I am recalling

Turning right at sofa-bed

All of this by "heaven-fed"!  26/03/2022 xxxx







        C  H  A  O  S  !


Tuesday Litter

Not feeling bitter

Grabber beside me

Walking, 'feel fitter!


Stirling Git-Moss

'"Don't give a toss!"

Scraping my grabber

Soon at a loss!


Motorbike Dan

Brains in a can?

Luton Road Racer

Deserves a ban!


Pavement-bike Mick

Stupid and thick

All terrorising

Bit of a Dick??


Foul scooter twit

"Piss off, you nit!"  (NOT my words!)

I'm taking shelter

'Don't care a bit!


Mobile the scoot'

Road for bike's route

Bashes Paul's mirror (A councillor!)

'Don't give a hoot!


Skateboard alarm

Full of great charm!  (Of course!)

Just exercising!

Gone walking calm!


Back home, 'got peace

All stress release

Writing a poem

All chaos cease!  10/11/2021. No police in the area? xxxx




E A S T    P I N E S,   M O N   A M O U R!


Litter-picker, really happy

At my age, 'should wear a nappy?

With my grabber, fishing too...

Lady hasn't got a clue!  (Asked if I was fishing?)


Fishing, Yes, but only litter....

Walking, 'hope I'm getting fitter?

Lots of bottles in the park

Loving all this "grabber-lark"?


Park I'm leaving, Irene waving

Bag, with lots of space I'm saving

Luton Road, my "ginnel-friend"

Rubbish trail will never end


Weeds I'm parting, bottles plenty

In the bin, my bag soon empty

Vodka and some wine to please

Rub some vodka on my knees?


Cars are racing, one is tooting

Girl some litter she is booting! (What else would she do?)

Fag-ends to my right and left

Are these types of sense bereft?


Water-stop, no vodka boozing?

Lorry passes, "briskly cruising"

Cup comes flying on the road

Is this in the Highway Code?


I'm returning, bag is heavy

Gagging for my chocolate "bevy"  (Hot chocolate)

Gordon waves, "You've missed a bit!"  (He's 92!)

Yes, a pile of doggie s++t!


Sitting down, a child is smiling

This, of course, forever filing

Walking, sad to leave the team

Wonderful: My East Pines' "dream"! xxxx 07/09/2021 xxxx









B E A T    OL D    A G E !


Maureen is the New Picasso  (Mrs. Booth)

Gosh, she is a busy "lass-o"!

Painting lots of garden fence'

In the sunshine, common sense?


'Makes a change from all her knitting?

On her feet, instead of sitting

Crochet too, a blanket, please!

And some patches for my knees!


Dearest Gordon, at the bookie's

Eating plenty chocolate cookies

Ninety-two and driving still

He's got lots of time to kill!


Mouse he's feeding in the morning

Gulls about, this is a warning!

Dropping lots of "souvenirs"

'Wears a cap, protects his ears!


Many passing, doggie-walkers

Dave and Toby, happy talkers

'Got a shiny, polished head

'Gives him lots of fine street-cred'!


Drunkard passing, Vodka drinker

Not, we think, a local thinker?

Dog he's pushing in a "pram"

It's his subtle battering ram!!


Keep it going!, Gordon's smiling

All of thIS, of course, I'm filing

'Wears a mask and has a stick

You can hear his "leggies" click!


Still alive and really happy

'Says he doesn't need a nappy!

Great to see these healthy "guys"

Write their names high in the skies!  Amen  27/08/2021 xxxx




L O C A L  G O O D  D E E D S !

Holey! Holey!

Roly Poly

Council's shot a fine "own-goalie"

Find the tarmac, brand new game

Roads not in The Hall of Fame?


Pavement blocking


Traffic laws fast cars are mocking

Luton road at SIXTY, more (MPH)

Listen to those engines roar!


Vodka bottle

Drinkers throttle?

Too much Vodka, skin will mottle?

Picking up their broken glass

Let the little doggie pass!


We're "Green-Teaming"

Bibs are gleaming

Work we're doing vital seeming

Irene pulling out the weeds

Meeting all our locals' needs?


Buddha calming

No one harming

Water flows, it's really charming

Paul is beaming, drinks his brew

Grateful for his East Pines' "crew"


Calm I'm feeling

Helping, Healing

Tory weeding, still appealing!

Neighbours thank us, valued feel

Anchorsholme, yes, "the real deal"!  10/08/2021. xxxx

"Cheers, Paul!" xx


T H E   G R E E N   T E A M


Green Team Litter-Pick

Park soon "span and spick"!

Andrew leading, lots to do

Letter from "Dear Mick"!


Tuesday ten o'clock

Time to "bend and rock"

Bottles, packets, torn masks too

'Find discarded lock!


Luton Road, East Pines

Brandy and some wines

Take your cigarettes away

'Don't like "idle swines"!


Lots of weeds and dig

"Garden" rather big!

Barrow full of lovely soil

Paul's mum does a jig!


Happy there's no rain

Soggy bags: a pain!

"Please take all your litter home!"

Packets in a drain


Sweetie papers, great!

Scratch cards, it's my fate!

Alleyway is full of paint

'Glad to have my mate! (Andrew)


Thank you to Dear Paul

Work, "Don't mind at all!"

Park is looking just first rate

We have had a ball!


Time to have a brew

We've had lots to do

Three Cheers for my East Pines' friends

Bow to Green Team Crew!  06/07/2021 xxxx  Thank you, Paul xx











Reasons to be cheerful..

'Stead of feeling tearful?

'Got a virus from Brazil

Soon I'm feeling fearful!


Jack is widely smiling

Whisky he's stock-piling

"Daily Fail", no toilet-rolls...

News is so beguiling!


'Got my litter-grabber

Magpies: "jabber-jabber"

'Got a "dropping" on my hat

Disinfectant "dabber"?  (Needed?)


Manic cyclist racing

Mobile scooter 'chasing

Hit him with a piece of wood?

Panic soon effacing?


"Yellow lines" for parking?

Police say: "They're all barking!" (Mad!)

Engine running, leaves his car

My mood soon is "darking"!


View of sea, 'now smiling

This is more beguiling

Close me eyes and start to dream..

All of this I'm "filing"


'Guess, at least... surviving?

Spring is soon arriving

Daffodils are bursting through

Faith in 'world reviving! xx  01/03/2021 xx



B I R T H D A Y  "T R E A T"


Happy Birthday, 'feeling eighty

Figure svelte and not too weighty?

Pour myself a "Whisky Grouse"

Cosy is our lovely house!


Wings are flapping, we're escaping

Neighbours stare, their mouths are gaping

Comfy in Dear Gordon's car

All are thinking: "Can't go far!"


Sea-belts on, with Rufus steering  ("Help!")

Gordon at his garden peering

Wearing masks though had the jab

Prospects now are really fab'!


High above the park, I'm smiling

Gordon's talk is so beguiling!

Heading for the "bookie's place"

Betting time, Three-Thirty race


Stanley Park, the ducks are breeding

"No one, please, with bread these feeding!"

Flying over "golfie course"

Empty of the "buggie force"!


Blackpool Tow-er, no one's watching

In the back, I'm "gently Scotching"! (Whisky Time)

Pocket-size my Famous Grouse

Plenty bottles in our house!


'Long the prom', with speeding drivers

Hovering, not many divers!....

Sea unfriendly, really cold

And what's more, we're rather old!


Local trip, of Gladys thinking  (She died one year ago!)

Gordon at her photo winking

Landing on his garage top

First a skip and then a hop!


Though in tears, he's really happy

"Getting old, 'soon wear a nappy!"

Thank you, Gordon, for my treat

Flying car was rather neat!  Amen  21/01/2021 xxxx




R A C I N G    D R I V E R S !


Racing drivers. Gordon's frightened

Anchorsholme, his fears are heightened...

Turning left, he hears a BANG

Blue car causes noisy prang!


Wing is broken, Gordon's shaking

'Has to stop, his heart is quaking!

Time to hang his car keys up?

Sipping tea from Yorkshire cup!


Luton Road, a sport's car "flying"

Lady frightened, loudly crying

"Idiot, he scared my dog..

Flattened hedgehog, tiny frog!"


At the lights, to red its changing

Traffic laws "man" rearranging

Speeding off, he's turning left

Brain of common sense bereft!


Red Bank Road, not easy crossing

Passing "driver" cup he's tossing

Van has mounted pavement top

Racing off, no time to stop!


Meanwhile Gordon's "f-and-blinding"

Driving now too hard he's finding

Taxi-user from now on

Whistle-ing a peaceful song!


All we're saying: "Careful Driving"

Highway Code we are reviving

Camera and "coppers", please  (Police, even!)

No more gales, just gentle breeze!  Drive sensibly!

18/02/2021.. Gordon is 91 xxxx



"F R O G - M A R C H I N G!"


Kevin is with Albert walking

"O, Mon Dieu, en francais talking!"

'Says to Rufus: "Au Revoir!"

"A Bientot, mon papa!"


Stanah is the place for strolling

Warmer now, "We're not North-Pole-ing!"

Only walkers and their dogs

U.K. hikers don't like "Frogs!"  (Nationalists!)


Albert pleure: "Nous 'sommes pas, Froggies!"

"Va-t-en, mechant, with your doggies!"

We are here and love the calm

"We don't want Brexit Alarm!"


Bikes whizz past, we hear a tinkle

'Think the doggie's had a "winkle"!

Walkers, having sandwich break

Peaceful by the fact'ry's "lake"


Tide is rising, wind is blowing

Little Kevin.. "to-and-fro-ing"

Albert talks about "French Kiss"..

This is one I'd never miss!!


Turning back, the sun is shining

For a San Miguel I'm pining (Espagnol!)

P'rhaps a Famous Grouse instead?

'Helps to clear my manic head!


Cars in view, excited voices

"Lockdown ending!", man rejoices

Citroen waiting, shiny, new

'Guess our problems really few?


Back at base, Cher Albert boasting

Stanah outing he is toasting

Cognac, 'got to be quite French....

Sipping, smiling, garden bench!  20/04/2021 xxxx