THE 'TASH IS BACK!
MY SPINNING BRAIN!
T A L E S F R O M O U R
G A R D E N !
Can you see me "boysie-racing"?
Much more likely: "steady-pacing"
Car is passing, honking horn
MP watching "secret porn'!"
"Tractor-watching", he is claiming!
For the weeds I'm only aiming
Birds they chuckle, no one lies!!
Elephants pass in the skies!
Pruning, coloured car is looming
Then another engine "booming"!
"Amazon" and DPD
Great, we've gained some "catty wee"!
Disinfectant, doggie passing
Driver on his phone is "gassing"
"Safer in the garden, mate!"
As I for my passport wait! (After eleven weeks!)
At a party? "Was my double!"
Civil Service is in trouble! (Of course, blame Sue Gray!
P'rhaps in was Dear Peppa Pig?
PM doesn't care a fig!
Weeding soon becomes a pleasure (Really?)
Mansion better for my leisure?
Chesea Show, "nobilitee"!
Garden Life to set us free!
Garden hoe, I'm "Ho! Ho! Ho-ing!"
Pigeons busy "to-and-fro-ing"
Splosh, another dirty head
They, of course, by Heaven fed!
In our sun-lounge, Whisky downing
Gone so soon my morning frowning
Guy says: "I enjoy my Scotch!"
As two blackbirds I do watch! Yippee! 24/05/2022 xxxx
BEER INSTEAD? xxxx
WHISKY - FREE!
D R Y M O N D A Y !
"Monday, What, You don't have Whisky!"
'Guess that means you're much more frisky?
Don't believe it, ageing man....
"Poet" is no Peter Pan!
"Famous Grouse", you'll soon be closing?
With a Whisky usually posing?
Have a lemonade instead!
Something missing in my head? (No comment?)
Walking without stimulation
So much better for the Nation?
"I'm preparing "royal" cake
For "Dear Andrew", charming snake!
"Suck it up, they're celebrating!"
For July I guess I'm waiting?
Hope to do a gentle cruise
They won't serve a lot of booze!
Green Team, smiling, preparations
'Could it be the "Seven Nations?" (Six, really, with Italy)
Rather watch a rugby match?
Yearning for a glass of "Scotch"!
Irene smiles, though Villa losing
End of season, 'guess they're boozing?
Leeds United heave' a sigh
Father happy "in the sky"? (A seaon ticket holder, once!)
Monday's passing, Grouse is waiting
"Have a wee one!", glass debating!
'Wonder when my passport's here
Perhaps, instead, I'll down a beer!
Whisky-free, but not forever!
'Got to keep myself together!
"Level-Up", tomorrow three
Paul is laughing: "He! He! He!" Amen 23/05/2022 xxxx
H E L P!
"L E V E L L I N G - D O W N!"
Folks are poor and many frowning
Not so many Cavas downing?
Heating means the nearest bus
Show your pass, you get no fuss!
Packets smaller, prices soaring
Yet, I hear a sports car roaring
'Can't afford a Bentley here.....
Listen to "Dear Andrew" cheer! (DOY, BOG-OFF!)
Pensions lower, prices higher
Up above a Spitfire flyer?
Walking 'round Fairhaven Lake
Do NOT have a "Party Cake"!
In th North, our problems fewer? (Really!)
Far away from Johnson's sewer
Not so many cheats up here
Only foreign Lager Beer! (Cheers!)
'Got the birds, the songs our pleasure
'Not got yachts for sailing leisure?
Walk the dog and watch the rain!
Boiling hot for friends in Spain!
Anger, as my passport's missing
Trip abroad we could be missing?
Whisky calms me, not for long
Singing doleful Brexit song!
"Take the train", but it's not coming!
'Stead we hear a taxi "brumming"!
Quicker if we start to walk....
'Take a while to get to York?
Happy Days, not many smiling
"Level-Up" we all are filing
'Got more chance of Lott'ry win?
Happiness is just a sin! Cynical poet? 22/05/2022 xxxx
Bonjour! xxxx
GARDEN LIFE
M A I N L Y K N I C K E R S !
Knickers swaying on our line
Underpants are so divine!
Blackbird laughing, 'gives a wink
Robin too before I blink!
Neighbour hanging washing too
Whoops, he's got some Pigeon Poo!
Not too happy, 'wipes his head
'Guess it's not by Heaven fed?
Washing swaying, happy days
Piano playing, head that sways
Chopin waltzing, Mozart too
Schubert, part of "music crew"!
Robin loves a bit of Brahms!
Blows away all "war alarms"
News, I guess, just makes me ill?
Music is a soothing "pill"!
Meal-worms for our feathered friends
Secret place, at 'garden ends
Blackbird finds his little den
Blue Tit too, he feeds and then?......
,Hides, 'avoids a warring Gull
Anchorsholme is rarely dull!
Help! my pants have got a "splash"
'Like to give the Gulls a bash?
Mainly knickers, 'start to smile
Safer on the Golden Mile?
No, I'm snoozing, garden seat
Birdie song and tapping feet!
Happy scene, it's peaceful, safe
'Thinking of Dear Tony Rafe! (Cyprus cyclist)
'Never know, 'might see you soon?
Underneath a Pafos moon! Amen xxxx 21/05/2022 xxxx
"
YIPPEE !
OU R G R E E N T E A M
Pizza wrappers
"Doggie crappers!"
Grabber or I need some "Zappers"!
Freezer 'left and "satty dish" (Satellite time!)
Litter-free my only wish!
Carpet "lying"
Pigeon dying
On good nature I'm relying
Cheered up by the "Greenest Team"
Perfect Park, it is their dream!
John so caring
Love he's sharing
Badge of Honour he is wearing!
Robert says he's Pafos bound
Quiet place out there he's "found"
Big dogs barking
Owners "larking"
I think that they're also "barking" (Mad?)
We don't need the piles of poo
P'rhaps we need a doggie loo?
"Jubilee-ing"
Doggie weeing
For the hills I'm quickly "fleeing"!
Pick more wrappers, "sniffing tubes"
Rather have a tube of Zubes? (Do they exist now?)
Irene's "Villa"
Game's a thriller
Lucky me: a tube of filler!
Leeds United going down
You can view my Yorkshire frown!
Green Team meeting
Outside seating
Always get the warmest greeting
Raise my cup to Paul and Team
East Pines' Park, it is their dream! xxxx 20/05/2022 xxxx
OUR PARADISE! xxxx
NEIGHBOUR'S RESPONSE!
S U R P R I S E! S U R P R I S E !
"Surprise, Yes, Surprise!"
Dear Cilla, she dies (Cilla Black)
That poor lady's fallen
All Liverpool sighs!
'Was singing all day
For sunshine she'd pray
Fine Cava she's drinking
She's starting to sway! (Help!)
A neighbour, he smiles
Proud "gardening styles"
He's digging, exhausted
And soil? He has piles!
Of Cyprus he talks
Of Mesogi walks
He lived 'Tremithousa
Dear vultures and hawks!
Nine years over there
"Return if you dare!"
His wife safe in Cleveleys
Of Pafos "Don't care!"
So happy his life
No "gardening strife"!
A snooze in the sunshine
Soon tired his wife!
I sympathy give
In Tala to live?
Just annual visit
My brain's just a sieve!
A compromise kind
Some comfort we find
Some poems to cheer us
East Pines.... we don't mind! 18/05/2022. Have a Whisky... Yiamas! xxxx
ANY CHANCE OF GOING TO THELETRA VILLAGE? xxxx
STILL "ESCAPING"!
"Y O U N E E D A P A S S P O R T!"
Thinking of Theletra Village
'Gosh it is a peaceful village
Only problem?....Passport gone!
Now I sing a doleful song!
Royal Mail is not too royal?
Customers are always loyal
"First-class, still we lose your mail!"
Time for me to weep and mail!
PEX The Number, nothing doing!
Can you hear our pigeons cooing?
Pigeon Post might be the "thing"
Would they sound my "ding-a-ling"?
Many calls, forever waiting
Pigeon Post I'm still debating?
MP trying, any chance?
Cyprus all our lives enhance!
March we paid, Dear Peterborough
"System there is very thorough!" (More lies!)
Listen to the music play (Bach concerto!)
We will answer, "Yes, one day"!
Head now spinning, time is flying
Can you hear our pigeons sighing
Going past, they drop a... poop!
Watch out!, soon they form a group!
Meanwhile, village soundly sleeping
Over wall you'll see me leaping (And I fell!)
Madness from the long delay
Just another Brexit Day!
Magic carpet now arriving
Passport loss we are surviving
Landing near to Venus Beach
Paradise is within reach! 17/05/2022. xxxx
WALKING ESCAPE!
"H E A D F O R T H E H I L L S !"
Crazy World, I'm going barmy
'Need a Whisky p'rhaps to "calm mi"?
Soon I'm heading for the hills
Walking, always lots of thrills!
All the Nation, "tele-watching"
As for me?, "a little Scotch-ing"?
Riding on a royal horse
Not for me, I say: "Of course!"
Andrew in expensive limo'
'Guess he's really not so "dim-o"?
'Got a special number plate
"DOY", It is our fate!"
Gulps of air and I'm relaxing
Lanky "hills" are not so taxing!
Birds are singing, 'head soon clear
You can hear my Happy Cheer!
I don't have nobil'ty scooter
Just an ugly "Yorkshire hooter"
Sandringham is far away
Thornton Lodge, another cheer!
Stanah walk, the view so calming
Nothing here I find alarming
Mother with her little child
Sunshine, weather's rather mild!
Fleetwood view, soon we're returning
For some foreign "ale" I'm yearning (Italian lager!)
Pam just waves, she struggles on (An old friend!)
Singing only lonely song!
Smashing meal, my fish is yummy
Lots of gurgles from my tummy
Raise a glass to walking times
"Cannot find your royal rhymes!" Amen xx 16/05/2022 xx
SPOT THE PILLOCK!
T A K E A L E A D !
Take a lead from Johnson
Yes, he is a con, son!
Partying but NEVER there...
Downing Street for cheats, son!
Tories watching porn, lad
For some "fun" they are glad
Angela: "Don't show your knees!"
Nothing they do is bad!! (Obviously!)
Sue Gray has been bribed, See!
Blackbird singing, high tree
Chuckle-ing from feathered friend
Critisism is free!
Joking with his "fab' team"
Dorries, Sunak, smiles, beam!
Truss and Patel start to smirk
Gosh, it is a "dream team"!
PPE from "friends"..Wink!
Budget flushing "down t'sink!"
Tennis set with PM.... Cheer!
'Wonder what you all think?
Johnson's giant nose grows
Lies, deceit, of course, sews!
Statement from Pinnochio
"Just about to stone crows!"
May elections, J' OUT!
'Give all liars large CLOUT!
"Come on Starmer, take the lead!"
Tired of this "posh lout!" 28/04/2022 xxxx
"We support Roger!" xxxx
ROGER IN CHARGE!
C O U N T I N G P L A S T I C !
Plastic counting
Plastic "mountain"
Rather have a cooling fountain?
Roger is, of course, in charge
Always butter, NEVER marge! (Roger Le Lapin)
Poo-bags swaying
R' dismaying!
"Ramasse-ca!", I hear him saying
He's disgusted, "Paresseux!"
And emitting loudest "Errrr"!
Park is busy
Makes me dizzy
Chris is kissing latest "Lizzy"!
Paul, still Monet, 'got his brush
Nearby tree, a singing thrush! (He! He! He!"
Crispy packets
Tennis rackets
In the ginnel lots of brackets!
Bottles full of Lucozade
Wee wee, not some lemonade?
Carpet stinking
Roger blinking
Standards here are low, he's thinking!
Lots of scratch-cards blow about
'Guess no winners, we don't doubt!!
Still he's counting
Tensions mounting
"Many types the laws are flouting!"
"Do we need a plastic hill?"
Hearts with sadness soon they fill!
Have a Whisky
Rather risky?
Hardly makes me that more frisky!
Roger has a glass of wine
From Bordeaux; "It's not a crime!"
Sweetie papers
Stupid vapers
Teens enjoy "addictive capers"!
Amen to the weekly "crap"
Give offenders "Wifie slap"! 21/04/2022 xxxx (Monsieur Smith!)
GOING CRAZY!
R E A L L Y "L O O P Y!"
Going loopy
"Veggie", poopy!
Ageing.... and my "bits" are "droopy"
Roger Rabbit starts to grin
"Craziness is not a sin!"
Going barmy
Watch "Dad's Army"
Need a "Scotch", if just to calm mi!
Heading off to Monday gym
Prospects there are far from grim!
"Fatty" dressing
Large, 'confessing
Talc' and "smellies" floor are "messing"
Something vulgar on his shirt
"Hi there!", his reply is curt!
I am biking
To my liking
Tour de France or am I "Tyke-ing" (Tour de Yorkshire)
Crazy world for Bradford Bulls
More defeats at heart-strings 'pulls!
"Twenty- K-in" (Kilometres)
Head is swaying
Mobile phones and, soon "dismay-ing"
"Throw your phones into the sea!"
'Like a world that is "tech-free"!
Time for shower
"Frozen hour" (Two minutes!)
Boiler lacking heating-power?
Guy is squirting giant bod'
Awful stench is rather odd!
We're returning
Tyres are "burning" (David Hamilton?)
For my daily 'Grouse I'm yearning!
Teen is biking, mobile phone
Listen to this driver moan!
Home 'arriving
Hate the driving
Coffee and, I'm soon reviving!
Grateful for our peaceful "nest"
Anchorsholme by far the best! xx 18/04/2022 xxxx